A few days ago, I attended a Zoom conference on writing.
The first speaker’s topic was “Believing in your Writing.” They talked about the importance of having a mentor. They used the example of the swamp of sadness scene in the movie adaptation of the book, The Neverending Story. In the scene a child is on a quest to save the world from encroaching “nothingness.” He must pass through the Swamp of Sadness, muddy, murky, dangerous. If one gives in to sadness they are sucked into the mud and die. It is truly one of the saddest scenes ever filmed, more so for a children’s movie.
The speaker asked a rhetorical question: what should we do when we are in the swamp of our sadness? How do we move forward when our feet are stuck? When we no longer want to move forward and no longer want to want to?
These are difficult questions, even dangerous ones. And the scene is difficult, even dangerous, as it touches on themes of worth and purpose and even suicide.
Being a rhetorical question, the speaker answered it: when we no longer have the strength (or think we don’t) latch on to someone who does—a mentor, a coach, or for writers, an editor.
The world is full of false mentors, eager to be latched onto by desperate, sad souls. History is full of the ill effects of finding the false mentor—holocausts, genocides, collapse of civilizations. The speaker named some criteria for finding a true mentor—they must be committed to you, to your work, to your well-being. They must believe in you and your work when you don’t. Use them as a proxy for your confidence, when yours fails.
The second speaker spoke of the importance of finding a community. Writing is a lonely business, or is seen as such. Life can be a very lonely business.
Find a community, he said, a supportive family that speaks the same language as you. Make sure their goals and values align with yours. Your community will help normalize your passions. Your innermost drives won’t be freakish in a community where others feel the same.
The speaker quoted some famous guy, who I’d never heard of: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Pick your five wisely. Find five who elevate you, support you, enhance you.
The third speaker’s topic was “Dealing with Rejection.” They spoke about purpose. What is your purpose? What is your vision? What is your city on the hill you strive for? What is the unique contribution you, and only you, bring to others?
Do you believe in your vision? If you don’t, the speaker said, no one else will. Do you believe in your vision?
You already know where I am going with this. Having a mentor, community, purpose have been central to my life, to shaping me and central to my finding possibilities in my pains. But not topics I expected in a seminar on writing.
There’s something else. Mentors, community, purpose were rightly presented as valuable tools we can use in our writing, and in our lives. They have valuable stuff for us, stuff we can get. I ask, what can we give? How can we unite our vision with our mentor’s, our community’s? What can we achieve together?
https://youtu.be/2QC7aV7Gkoc
